Euphoria…yeah nah bro.

After plodding my way through 3 episodes of Euphoria (supposedly the latest, coolest, hippest teen show in town) I was SHOCKED to find out it was made by the dude who made Assassination Nation (See blog post 1).

I loved that movie so hard. It had it’s cake and ate it too and then shot it’s cake in the arse.

(Via Bron Studios) Watch it !!!

Euphoria deals with similar themes (female objectification, misogyny, toxic masculinity, violence) then adds drugs + feels BUT it’s so watered down and dis-empowering that it ends up a big pile of… ‘meh’.

Via HBO

You should cry Zendaya! Not tears of glitter but ugly snot tears coz Rue (your character) commits the UNFORGIVABLE sin of being an omniscient narrator.

Voice-overs are barely, rarely, once in blue moon acceptable and then only if a specific character is telling us something (hopefully) different from what we are seeing.

(Via Channel 4 Films) Nailed it.

Rue tells us things she can’t possibly know and so much extra we don’t need to know and I just can’t even…

Via Pixar ; Disney

No character is even 3 dimensional till Episode 4, they’re just basic ; druggie girl, trans girl, rapey jock boy, nice jock boy, fat girl etc… ad nauseam.

(Via HBO) And by fat we mean normal size.

Kat gets some personality and sexual power cause the makers probably panicked that she wasn’t a size zero and had to compensate but she is still getting screwed up for screwing. All the female characters are suffering for their sexual activity.

That’s the point yells creator Sam Levinson (Hollywood legacy and son of the Barry) it’s meant to be realer than real, I’m trying to show you ‘wassup’ for the femmes, yo!

(He doesn’t talk like that, I’m paraphrasing)

I do appreciate that Sam.

I appreciate there’s a lot more dick than in every other thing ever. I also appreciate that transgender character Jules is played by a trans actress. I appreciate you’re trying.

But why is Jules so isolated? Why no other non binary kids? Not even online. Why would Jules move to a backward small town? (Sorry if it was in her backstory, I couldn’t watch because…voice over.)

(Via HBO) Hey LGTBQI community, over here.

Why are the girls still objectified for the male gaze? ‘Hot but sweet blond girl’ (Honestly forgotten her name) has a ‘porny’ public orgasm while riding the carousel because she took molly. Yeah nah.

(Via Pixar; Disney) Not cool dude.

Assasination Nation is a delicious comedy-horror/B movie homage where the vilified girls finally get to go medieval on the townsfolk and smash the patriarchy . (WATCH IT !!!)

Euphoria is set in reality. Well a ‘reality’ where everyone is pretty and there’s no shit or puke or gore (or humour apparently) but somehow there’s a baby drug dealer straight out of Shameless. So not really reality Sam.

(Via HBO) Need some gear, geezer.

I’m worried the girls will just stay victims. Yeah yeah the boys are victims too BUT not in a way that makes you afraid for them.

So fuck it, I might just go watch Derry Girls where you can scare the patriarchy with Irish accents, awkwardness and irreverence.

Cue girl power. Cue hilarity.

Via Channel 4

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