Umbrella Academy…FF you.

An adopted family of ex-child superheroes reunite when their father dies.

Cool idea, right?

Ellen Page is decent. Robert Sheehan is pretty. Intriguing pilot episode with fab soundtrack.

Via Netflix

And that’s when the good times stop.

No grit or depth, the plot is dragged out like mozzarella, the dialogue wayyyyyy expositional and everyone weeps like they’re in a soap.

Don’t waste your precious hours fast-forwarding (like me), instead try these 5 delicious and nutritious alternatives.

1 : Misfits2009 Series 1 (The rest are lame but it went on for 4 more years)

Via E4

What is it?

Five delinquent teens get superpowers from a lightning storm.

Why should you watch it?

It’s hilarious and dark and British. Get that Robert Sheehan fix. Sadly he’s not gay but he’s still obnoxious and pretty. (Why isn’t Robert more famous by now? I feel he should be.) Also spot the G.O.T actor in a more nuanced role.

2 :Firefly2002 – Series 1 (Cause it got cancelled, US network executive IDIOTS!)

Via Fox

What tis?

A rag-tag crew try to survive in a post-apocalyptic space-western world.

Why watch it?

Because…Joss Whedon.

Then watch Serenity the 2005 movie, which doesn’t replace the imagined series 2 and 3 but does help ease the cravings.

3: Counterpart Series 1 & 2 2017/2018 – (Series 2 unfortunately goes tits up half way through )

Via Starz

What dis?

A lowly clerk in Berlin discovers his office is hiding a parallel world.

Why would ya?

It’s about a middle aged straight cis white man and it’s still GREAT. Wha…? To be fair, that man is JK Simmons but it’s also grown up and authentic and impossible to predict, which is ‘so excitement’ in these jaded story times.

4: Orphan Black2013-2018 – 5 series (Uber uneven sometimes but I made it!)

Via Space ; BBC America

What?

Clones.

Why?

Kick-ass women mostly played by one actor. Fun and freaky genetic weirdness but will also give you the feels.

5 : Humans – 2015 – 2018 – 3 Series

Channel 4 ; AMC

Que?

Robots aka ‘Synths’ serve every human need until, uh-oh, some become self-aware.

Porque?

Don’t you trust me by now?

No?

Well then you may have trust issues. Maybe you need to get some professional help for that?

Nah, just watch TV dude.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s